imgonnagetyouback
If ever there is an anthem for empowerment – it’s this song. In “imgonnagetyouback,” Taylor explores two possible choices regarding her lover: Does she take him back in her arms or does she smash the bike? Either way, she has decided it’s her choice.
Shedding old school values and constraints on females, the songwriter explores the possibility of flipping the script and making the decision herself. As she discusses what she might want to do, Taylor is walking us through the familiar feeling of jumbled thoughts and feelings associated with difficult relationships. The words “I told my friends I hate you but I love you just the same.” are a prime example of the ambivalence we feel.
It can be a challenge to cope with the confusion of loving someone so much that you want to be with them forever while also wanting to seek revenge in the same instant. How can a person make that decision? When we develop connections with others, there’s a reason for it. There are aspects one could still love and appreciate. However, the toxicity of the relationship may have reached a point where stepping back from it is okay.
Making decisions can be horribly confusing and difficult to understand. Creating a T-chart to compare the pros and cons of different aspects can be very helpful when going through the process. It helps to sort out thoughts and feelings and then prioritize them. Doing so can help us answer the question, “Is it worth it?”
This chart is a not-so-simple example of possibilities for examining thoughts and feelings in more detail. It can be helpful to break it down even further and list the pros and cons of each choice in detail.
As she reaches the bridge, Taylor comments on the idea of entering a new era of the relationship as it evolves no matter what the decision. “Bygones will be bygone eras/ Fading into gray” gives some hope that the pain of what happened will eventually fade. I don’t know about you, but when Heather was 22, she wanted to feel hope and optimism about the hard things. She was in a tough spot and had a lot of figuring out to do. Eventually, that era of her life did fade from the black of midnight into the light of a gray dawn.
The road to an emotionally healthy life can be challenging, long, and frustrating. No matter your circumstances, we hope you believe you are cherished. You are loved, rooted, and worthy. Remember that.
By Heather Olson, LPC-S and Faith Brown, LAC
